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Why I’d rather date the bass player than f*ck the lead singer

Why I’d rather date the bass player than f*ck the lead singer

We’ve all been there. Standing in the front row, acting casual as fuck, flicking your hair and trying to make eye contact with sex-god lead singer.

But in reality, you’re getting battered against the railing and your hair is stuck in your mouth and you’ve spilt your drink all over your new white shirt.

But if you could just catch his eye for a second, just one second…. He’s yours.

I get it.

He’s very attractive and his songs are so sensitive and he can play the guitar and sing.

At one point or another you’ll see a band, there will be an attractive lead singer and you’ll start planning your wedding and/or how you will bump into them backstage without looking creepy. And while a lot of these plans never make it from ground level, I was lucky enough one wintering Bathurst night to sneak past security and into the arms of a lead singer. Sounds fairly glamourous right?

Wrong. Although the alcoholic haze that surrounds the memory is welcoming.

After drunkenly trying to convince Sharon, the middle-aged, temperamental body guard that I had left my jacket in the auditorium, the lead singer himself intervened and allowed me to come back into the auditorium. After some drunken banter and casual flirting the rest is history.

What followed was months of texting and one more drunken encounter. And that was it.

Yeah, he was handsome and his songs were great, and occasionally he was funny but that was it. No romance, no sensitive side. Just a guy who thought he could do better.

He was a cool dude. But that’s it.

He didn’t write the songs, he wasn’t particularly nice, or funny. He was just a dude, with an over inflated ego.

I was left a little underwhelmed as if my bubble had burst. It was a weird experience.

Fast forward a few years and I’d be presented with the same dilemma.

Lead singer with an ego the size of an elephant, drunkenly asking me to come home with him. I’d like to say that my immediate reaction was “no” but it wasn’t till I met the bass player of the band that I told singer no.

The bassist; the funniest person I have ever met, the writer of all their songs; perhaps not as attractive as the front man, perhaps not as charming or as confident but generally a better person. Instead of asking me home, we exchanged numbers, talked every day, saw movies, ate dinner… normal date stuff. And there was never an indication that he thought he was better than me. So unlike the lead singer who was way too into himself, this guy was everything. Is everything.

I know it’s tempting to subscribe to the Mick Jaggers of the world, but let me tell you there is more to a band than just lead vocals. Every band needs bass, needs rhythm, needs writers. The lead singer may be the face of the band but they aren’t the heart.

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