2016 has been a bad year. From Bowie’s death to Brexit to TRUMP. I’m sure, just like me, many a Kit Kat has been consumed… and a few tubs of ice cream… And a large packet of Doritos.
But hey, who’s judging? Because of all the comfort eating, everyone is going to be fat after 2016. So, what does your comfort food say about you?
Salty burger with layers of bacon and meat topped with a sugary brioche bun.
Of course, you’ll have chicken salt on your twice fried chips, is that even a question?
Wash it down with a lager and you’re sweet. You love flannel, beards, yeast and bacon. You may or may not be Canadian. You listen to folk music and metal but nothing in between. You’ve been known to burp in public because it’s better out than in and you have strong collection of McDonalds glassware.
You heard about Trump being president on the radio and punched a hole in your office wall, you heard about Brexit over the radio and you punched a hole in your office wall, you heard about Bowie dying on the radio, cried then punched a hole in your office wall…
Breathe deep man, and comfort yourself with a nice lager and big-ass burger and chips.
Mate, we all have that particular craving at some point or another. But if this is your go-to comfort food, you are a maniac. These things a big and doughy and most people can only really have one of them. But you, you crazy human can eat an entire box for comfort.
You’re the type that will stay up till 3.00am just because. You like over-priced electronics but have trouble spending money on food. Possibly overweight, probably hilarious. You’re a wild card.
You may or may not be picky about toppings. If you’re an original glazed, or pink icing kinda gal/guy there’s hope for you yet. But if you’re into lime flavoured or something weird like that, you probably don’t have many friends and therefore you’ll need as much comfort as you can get.
Go ahead with strange flavoured dough balls, you dough ball, you.
Yes, one of the best options because you can eat a lot of them. You fall into the nervous muncher category. Possibly skinny you have a very strange and slightly worrying addiction to salt. You may be the type to munch away nervously one at a time like a mouse or one that waits till midnight and shovels mountains of chips into your gob till you choke horrendously. You’re the type who will buy seven of your fav packets of chips because they were on sale. You may or may not be into slogan-ed t-shirts.
Either way we all love a good chip or 3 or ten. Particularly nacho cheese Doritos with medium spicy salsa.
You’ve obviously thought about this, and prepared for a large amount of carbs. You’re the type pf person who tells long jokes and spends way too much time ordering in a restaurant or picking bed sheets.
Comfort food is less about how quickly you can eat it and more to do with how comforted your insides feel while eating it. You’re very diplomatic and may or may not have glasses. You have a lot of self-discipline and a righteous sense of direction and time. Sometimes you can be a tad boring but you are loyal and considerate.
HOWEVER, you will not be sharing that bowl of pasta with anyone.
Yeah we’ve all been there.
And I feel for you. I really do.
To eat loads of ice cream is to become a hyperbole of yourself.
And unlike chips or donuts it doesn’t really matter what flavor you’re guzzling down, it’s the fact that you’ve gone to the freezer taken the whole tub and ate the whole thing with a spoon. Pitsville population you. And you know what? This comfort food really doesn’t say that much about you, because everyone has done it, regardless of age, gender, taste. This is just the lowest of low comfort food, but also the greatest of great comfort food.
Don’t over think it.
Eat all the Ice cream.
After all you scream I scream we all scream for ice cream.
So there we go. Now go forth and comfort yourselves because this year is gonna get worse before it gets better.
As for me?
I’ll have a big mac with 20 chicken nuggets.
Don’t forget the sweet and sour sauce.