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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Yo ho me hearties, get your rum ready and prepare to set sail, we’re walking the plank yet again. It’s safe to say that the Disney franchise Pirates of the Caribbean made the dirty, smelly, scurvy filled life of a pirate seem like a dream come true and made Jack Sparrow – sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow – everyone’s idol. On Ellen last Thursday, the fifth instalment of the franchise Dead Men Tell No Tales released its first trailer.

Looks like Captain Jack Sparrow is still the worst (but really the best) pirate we’ve ever heard of.

Yes, everybody be calm, Depp is back as Sparrow along with our new villain Javier Bardem as Captain Salazaar. So, what mischief is our anti-hero getting into? Disney released the basic storyline along with the trailer, so here’s what we know.

Of course, Sparrow is in trouble (no big shock there) as Captain Salazar (Bardem) and his “deadly ghost sailors” are rampaging the sea after escaping the Devils Triangle. They’re mission? To kill every pirate sailing the seas, especially one, none other than Captain Jack whose only hope lies in hunting down the legendary Trident of Poseidon. The only motive we know is from Salazar’s line “You will pay for what you did to me,” so revenge is on the table.

Travelling the seas with Sparrow is Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) a “brilliant, beautiful astronomer” and Henry (Brenton Thwaites) a “headstrong young sailor in the royal navy” very similar to the Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner situation it seems. Disney refers to Salazar as the “most formidable and malicious foe he has ever faced”. At the helm of the ship are directors, Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg navigating us through this new adventure.

The trailer was a lot of show- maybe too much with Depp being pantless in jail- but not a lot of substance. It seems that The Pirates franchise has lost our hearts at sea with yet another movie, straying further and further from the first fun, action filled adventure we all fell in love with – The Curse of the Black Pearl. We will all be waiting to see this new film set sail, hoping it doesn’t destroy the Pirates life completely with an overdose of cheap laughs and reliance on CGI.

Hopefully all the rum won’t be gone either. We may all need it.

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